The New Wave
4 days ago
Showing posts with label Heaven is a Wonderful Place. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heaven is a Wonderful Place. Show all posts
10 April 2011
We spent yesterday together.
Celebrating, picnicking, laughing, wishing, playing, weeping, aching, praising.
And we did it together.
So thankful for the ones and the One who loves us.
Happy 3rd birthday, daughter.
Our loss is your gain and we are just thrilled for you!
19 November 2010
So, not only has Oliver been asking a lot of questions about pregnancy and childbirth lately, but he's also initiated several conversations recently about death and Heaven.
He is absolutely enamored with the idea of Heaven and living in the presence of God, and has been for some time now. To him, Earth feels like a cheap imitation of Heaven. He's so anxious to get on to the good part.
Funny how a 4-year-old can have it so right sometimes.
Our conversations usually take place in the van. (Seems like he does his best thinking in there for some reason.) And they typically go something like this:
O: But Mom, (it usually begins with "but" which signals to me that he's been mulling something silently for a while) when will I get to go to Heaven?
Me: Hm... We don't know when you'll go to Heaven, baby. Remember how we talked about that everyone is born and everyone dies? We have an idea of when people will be born, but only God knows exactly when and how. It's the same thing with dying. Usually people die when they're old, but sometimes they die when they're young.
O: Like Evie Grace? She died when she was a baby.
Me: Yes, sweetie. Like Evie Grace. She got to go to Heaven early! Think how wonderful it must be for her up there with Jesus and all the other people that are in Heaven that love her! It must be so beautiful for her!
O: But I want to go to Heaven now too!
Me: Oh, Oliver, not yet! Right now, you get to be alive! God is giving you a very special gift today. Today you get to be alive and you get to give Him glory here and be with Mommy and Daddy and Hazel. We can be so excited for our turn to go to Heaven, but we can also be thankful that we are alive on Earth. Heaven something wonderful to look forward to!
O: And I can meet Evie Grace?
Me: Yes, you can meet Evie Grace. What do you think she will look like, baby?
And the conversation goes on... We imagine our sweet girl. We talk about how she's Oliver's little sister and Hazel's big sister. We wonder together if she looks like Hazel and what it will be like to hold her and hug her. We talk about how old she would be if she were still alive and imagine happily what life would be like with two sisters.
These conversations aren't usually sad ones (at least not for Oliver, and I never let on). Other times though, I have had to explain to him that even though death is a happy moment for the person who gets to be with Jesus, it is sad for the people that will miss them. We talk about how much I would miss Oliver if he was in Heaven but how excited I would be that he was there. Just like Evie.
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One recent and similar talk we had made me realize that perhaps it was time to explain things to him just a little further. This is how it went:
O: But how will I get to Heaven? (again with the "but" at the beginning of a thought. He must just roll this stuff around in his head, trying to grasp it all.)
Me: Oliver, you know how we have talked about that we all have spirits?
O: Uh huh.
Me: Well when we die, if we love Jesus, our spirit goes to Heaven to live with Him. But do you know that our bodies stay here on Earth? Like when a person dies, if they love Jesus, their spirit goes to Heaven and their body stays here and we bury it. That's what cemeteries are for. It's where we bury the people that we love. Do you know that Evie Grace's little body is buried in a cemetery not far from here? It has a stone that says her name and everything!
O: (he just giggles at the thought of her sudden tangibility)
Me: Baby, would you like me to take you to see where Evie Grace is buried? You can see her name written and if you want, we can go pick out some flowers for you to give to her.
O: (Another giggle) Yes! When can we?
It's funny to me that in all the times he's come along with us to visit her grave, he's never been interested or made the connection about what we were doing. He's known her name and a little bit about her, but Oliver was only 18 months old when she was stillborn. He's learned about her in age-appropriate doses for the past two and a half years, and now this older brother was ready to pay his respects.
This was a big moment. One that I though his Daddy should be in on. So, rather than turning the van immediately in the direction of the cemetery that day, we planned that we'd go on the weekend.
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Oliver took his time and carefully picked out the perfect flowers for his baby sister. (And boy did he take his time... sheesh!) He played with them all the way to the cemetery and chatted happily about things in his own 4-year-old - sometimes shocking or irreverent - way. (As we pulled into the cemetery his big first question was, "Where will I get to be buried?!!")
When we parked, he quickly unclipped, jumped out of the van, slung the flowers over his shoulder and asked us to point him in the right direction.
This was not a sad visit for him. He was so excited about the tangibility of a burial place. (Perhaps too excited. We had to quickly teach him a bit of etiquette about jumping on all the grave makers. My apologies.)
We found Evie's special place and took the existing flowers out of her vase so that Oliver could replace them with the ones that he picked out.
Because he's so interested in letters and what they spell right now, he wanted to read every letter on her headstone and find out what it said. He was so giggly when he read that her last name was the same as his.
As we sat there we talked about death and life and Evie Grace and Heaven. I asked him where Evie's spirit was and he answered, "Heaven!" And I asked him where her body was and he pointed in the direction of her grave. Then I asked him where his spirit and his body are and it took him a moment before she smiled and slapped his hands on his chest.
I told him that it was a happy thing to be in Heaven but it's also a very happy thing when your body and spirit are together. That means you're alive! "Oliver, you're ALIVE!!!"
The thought of it overtook him and he threw his arms in the air and took off running and skipping all around the graves.
He was rejoicing in the life God had given him today.
For a moment I worried that his flitting about would be disrespectful, like he was rubbing it in to all the children who were not alive that he still had life. But I know that was not his intent at all. He was just so glad. (Again, leave it to a 4-year-old to turn a place of mourning into a place of dancing!) To be honest, it made us all feel like dancing!
We spent some time enjoying the lovely fall afternoon and being near to our baby girl, if only her body. We want the kids to feel comfortable here. We want them to ask questions as they arise and understand death and what it means - as best as any of us can. We want them to know that death is a thief and life is a gift. And that Heaven awaits them because of Jesus' own death and resurrection.
We want them to know about their sister. We don't want to bring them sadness, but I really don't think that's the case. They're comfortable here.
I'm so grateful that we have been able to naturally and gradually talk with Oliver about some of the biggest (and in many ways, hardest) truths that life has to offer. While Ryan and I certainly felt the sting of death that evening as we packed the kids back up in the van, leaving one behind in the cool fall air with nothing but a helpless goodbye kiss, our little Oliver's spirit of joy reminded us of the hope that is Heaven and the gift of life that is ours for His glory.
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Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Revelation 21:1-4
03 December 2009
We received our first Christmas card of the season today.
It was addressed:
"Dear Ryan, Raechel, Oliver and Hazel,"
What a sight!
It made me really happy to see our names all in order together!
And I was okay with it - it didn't make me sad - it made me really glad!
I don't worry that Evie's not included. I know Evie doesn't need Christmas cards either.
She gets the best end of the deal - she is with Christ!
Anyway, it was fun to see our little family all written out. Like a little Christmas present!
Merry Christmas!
01 November 2009
This is the question I've been getting as I've Tweeted about the assembly of Oliver's Halloween costume this year. Fair question, I suppose. Even as he graced the streets of Franklin last night in his stellar little costume most of the comments he received were things like, "Oh, what a cute little mouse!" or "Is he Despereaux?"
So, we didn't choose Bob the Builder. It would have been easier and more recognizable, but Oliver (and we!) love Reepicheep!
What is a Reepicheep? you may ask.
Reepicheep is actually a character in C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. He appears in Prince Caspian, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader as well as The Last Battle. He's a large, talking mouse who carries a rapier and wears a red feather tucked in a gold cap. He's all about defending honor and he lives his life in the service of Aslan.
Here's a video clip from Disney's version of Prince Caspian where Caspian meets Reepicheep for the first time:
One of our favorite bits about Reepicheep is found in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. He accompanies Caspian on his voyage in the hope of finding Aslan's Country at the end of the world. At one point Reepicheep accidentally falls off the ship. Everyone's panicked because someone's fallen overboard and when they realize it was the mouse they are a little miffed to have to go back to save him.
They hear Reepicheep exclaim as he swims delightedly in the water, "It's sweet! It's sweet! The water is sweet!". He then recalls to all his companions a dryad prophesy from when he was a baby:
Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter East.
I like to think of Reepicheep's longing for Aslan's country like our own longing for Heaven. Reepicheep lived his life in search of it - always longing, always seeking. Like Reepicheep, this Earth is not our home.
So, I hope this answers the question of, "What is a Reepicheep?" :)
Now, onto some photos of our own sweet guy in his Mama-made Reepicheep costume!
As we were showing him his newly-constructed costume and getting him dressed he excitedly informed me, "This is my best costume ever!"
He fell asleep in the car shortly before it was time to begin our evening.
He was so cuddly!
Would you make fun of me if I called him "Sleepicheep?" :)
Now we're off!
(Seriously, check out that awesome tail - that thing had life!)
(I coached Oliver just a little to get as many "orange squares" as he could. I'm shameless!)
Beatrice and her Mama and Papa came along too. Can you guess who she was dressed as?
"Madi-yine!"
Oliver and his Papa had to take a time out when the going got a little too greedy. Sitting out a few houses got him back on track and he was a happy mouse once again!
Did y'all go Trick-or-Treating last night? How did you costume your children? Did you dress up as well? I would LOVE to hear!!!
Happy Reformation Day, friends!
09 April 2009
Alright, y'all.
It's late at night and I've been back and forth about sharing this all day. But I really feel like, as personal as it is, as much as I feel like this is my story and my baby, it's God's story and He is writing it so beautifully in our lives. We don't know how or where this story will end, but we know that when God is the Author of our lives, there's nothing we need to hide. I am sharing with you all a very precious part of my life with you tonight.
One year ago today I gave birth to a baby girl. (I know this because there are honestly days where I think to myself in a panic - "I gave birth to a baby girl three months ago- where is she??" or I'll wake up from a dead sleep panicking because I'm sure she's still alive and I forgot to bring her home from the hospital.)
She was already in Heaven when she was born.
This is hard for me to wrap my mind around compeltely. I honestly wonder in a non-sentimental but practical sense whether she watched from Heaven as her Mom and Dad held her still little body in the hospital that day.
I wonder what she knows about us. The sentimental side of me wants her to know how much we loved her - how we praised God for every day He blessed us with her. How I'm actually a pretty fun, albeit far-from-perfect Mom.
Evie, I want you to know that no one is better than your Daddy at bedtimes - he'll sit with you forever and stroke your forehead or rub your back until you fall asleep. He'll even sing the Doxology for you 10 times in a row if you ask him. He's also really good at lining up cars and building tall towers, and I'd bet he'd even be willing to learn to play dolls with you if you asked him to. Your big brother is a wild man but has a special, protective place in his heart for the little girls in his life. He would have given you a hard time, be sure of it, but he would have protected you fiercely if anyone ever gave you trouble.
I sure do miss her today.
And, I wish we had a little cupcake with a candle in it today. But that's a different (much less lovely) post all together.
Hm. How do I transition from that to this?
In this video are the photos of my labor and the two hours we spent with little Evie Grace.
I've mentioned her many times before as our photographer but also as a now dear family friend: Claire Wise is a Nashville area photographer that volunteers for an organization called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. She spent two of the hardest days of our lives with us, and the beautiful thing, is that we hardly noticed she was there. These photos are what I would grab if our house was on fire (assuming that Ryan and Oliver are already safe!) - they are our proof that Evie was here. They are our memories of her. They are so personal, so beautiful, so honest, and most of all, evidence of God's presence bringing peace into that place. We did not do this on our own.
About 3 minutes into the video is when it was time for me to deliver Evie. You'll see my family gathered around me, Ryan leading us in a prayer for grace and strength. That was a weighty moment. One that I had not fully prepared myself for. When I gave birth to Oliver, pushing him out meant "hello". It meant that I would finally meet my baby and begin a life as this child's mother. Delivering Evie meant "goodbye". She was leaving me. The Lord was good to us in that moment. He gave me the strength to do what I honestly didn't think I could.
I want to prepare you that this video may be difficult to watch. Don't feel badly if you choose not to watch it. I just want to make it available to anyone for whom it may be helpful. You'll notice that Evie had some deformities. Her ear was low and underdeveloped. He little leg was turned. These were not surprises to us. We love these things as a part of how God made her. She was so, so beautiful to us. She had my mouth - my big lips. And, in a few shots you'll notice her white swirly crown of hair - just like Oliver had. She was ours.
This video is a part of our testimony. We share it with you today, not only in remembrance of our baby girl, but in gratitude to our Father in Heaven for his tender mercies to our family - for his faithfulness to us in this year. We serve an amazing God. Nothing surprises Him. He is a masterful Creator. He does not make mistakes.
Join us, as you watch this video, in worshiping the Creator of Life, the Great Physician, the Comforter who reminds us this Easter weekend that death is not the end! He has risen - and in Him, we too can live forever!
(If your computer can handle it, you may want to click to view this full screen.
Otherwise, I'm afraid it may be difficult to read some of the text.)
07 April 2009
After the Christmas Eve service at our little Parish this year Ryan and I asked Pastor Grant a question that had been burning in our minds the past several days. Does Heaven observe Christmas with us? - is there a celebration there even grander than our celebrations here? After all, it is CHRISTMAS!
You see, as excited as we were about Christmas and the fulfilled promise of the coming Messiah, we had Evie on our minds. We needed to know what Christmas would be like for our little girl in Heaven, since we wouldn't have her here with us.
I love and will never forget his response.
He reminded us, as we knew, that Heaven is not bound by or connected with Earthly time. It is eternity (something so much bigger than my mind can grasp!). Yes, the angels in heaven celebrate when a lost sinner repents (Luke 15), but from what we know, Heaven does not celebrate by man's dates and calendars the way we do.
Instead, we can think of C.S. Lewis' description of Narnia in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. In Narnia, it was always winter, but never Christmas.
We can think of Heaven instead, as always Christmas and never winter.
Every day in Heaven is a celebration of God's fulfilled promises. Every day in Heaven is a day to sing "Joy to the World!" Every day is Christmas!
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Today marks one year since Evie left this poor, fallen world for the splendor of Heaven. She slipped quietly, almost completely unnoticed from this world. It was our great loss, but Evie's immeasurable gain.
From his deathbed, D.L. Moody said, "Soon you will read in the newspaper that I am dead. Don't believe it for a moment. I will be more alive than ever before... Earth recedes... Heaven opens before me!"
Evie is more alive now than she ever was or could have been here on Earth. While I wish we had our little girl with her Mama's lips, her brother's white hair and her Daddy's big blue eyes today, I know there's nothing we could offer her here that could compare with the splendor of being in the presence of her Jesus. Evie won the prize - she got to skip right to the good part! And, we celebrate that with her today.
Evie's life and homegoing has taught us to be far less bolted to this earth. We are looking forward with eager anticipation to the day when we can join Evie in the presence of the Lamb.
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"Let us greet the day which assigns each of us to his own home, which snatches us from this place and sets us free from the snares of the world, and restores us to paradise and the kingdom. Anyone who has been in foreign lands longs to return to his own native land... We regard paradise as our native land."
- Cyprian
"When I heard that I was in the wrong place... my soul sang for joy, like a bird in spring. I knew now... why I could feel homesick at home."
- G.K. Chesterton
"In the truest sense, Christian pilgrims have the best of both worlds. We have joy whenever this world reminds us of the next, and we take solace whenever it does not."
-C.S. Lewis
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