25 February 2010

Hi friends!

Okay, I'm just going to being {yeah, after I published this I re-read and realized that even proof-reading didn't catch that I meant to say "begin"} this post by warning you not to expect it to be fluid or even coherent. My mind (as well as my body) is more pregnant every day and therefore, is less useful.

It occurred to me this morning that I haven't posted anything in over a week. It further occurred to me that being nine months pregnant and blogging through the pregnancy and having such lovely, supportive, encouraging readers, then dropping off the face of the planet for over a week isn't perhaps considerate.

So sorry to leave you all hanging!

And, if my absence hasn't been a concern to you, well, that's just fine too. I do realize that y'all have full, interesting lives and that you are not likely loosing sleep over when my next post will come.

Seriously, I already hate myself in this post. I hope to be a much better communicator once this whole crazy pregnancy hormone thing subsides! Hopefully my mind isn't gone forever...

So, back to an update.

We're doing great here. I had a very nice, encouraging appointment with my midwife yesterday. (Yay!) In case you haven't guessed, I'm probably not going to share all the nitty gritty details of my progression with y'all. (I don't judge folks who do... I just chose not to) :) But I will say that it was encouraging to have progressed even more than my appointment two weeks ago and I am getting very anxious to get this show on the road!

(That said, I'm only 37weeks, 4 days pregnant. Oliver was born at 41 weeks. I know that getting my hopes up too high now could only lead to another 3 weeks of frustration. We may not meet this girl until the first day of spring!)

I managed to have another meltdown on Tuesday night. I think that the culmination of this pregnancy hasn't really hit me until this week. To be honest, it still feels SO imaginary that we could be a family of four - that we will ever be more than just Raechel, Ryan and Oliver. Could this really be real???

It also feels sad to me that we won't be a family of five. I imagine a lot what it would be like to have a 3.5-year-old, a nearly 2-year-old and a newborn. Two girls and a boy - that would be a handful but oh, wouldn't it be wonderful? Our joy is great! Our family is growing! But there will always be a gap where our Evie belongs and that's how it is. We accept it, but still grieve it.

And for now, I am wriggly with anticipation of the days ahead. I'm running around the house, cleaning every corner until it shines - even the sewing room!! :)

I made two blankets and five burp cloths for our girl this week (it occurred to me that I'd been making all these bibs and burp cloths for my shop, but didn't have any set aside for Hazel!). I even got grossed out enough by my oven mitt that I decided it needed replacing in preparation of the new baby. (Why does a new baby need a nice oven mitt, you ask? I really couldn't tell you, but it felt pressing at the time.)

Exhibit A: The Offender
(It's stained and scraggly and we've had it since we got married. Yuck!)

Exhibit B: The Replacement
(Actually a pretty simple project - just a little chenille, insulbrite and
Nicey Jane fabric and an oven mitt is born!)

(It looks like I took these photos in some kind of a weird studio something - they're just on the kitchen table which photographs black and makes photos like this look waaay too official.)

Apart from that, I've been enjoying getting geared up for labor - watching The Business of Being Born (if you haven't seen it - DO!! It's available on Netflix in the "watch instantly" section and it's SO good!), reading Spiritual Midwifery and and inflating my yoga ball. I'm actually looking forward to labor! I know that sounds weird because, let's face it, it's pretty uncomfortable (understatement of the century), but there's something wonderful about it to me. Such a rush - such a feeling of satisfaction working with your body to bring a life into the world. I was built for this and it's a life experience that you only get to have a couple of times in your life - if ever. (At any point did I come across way too granola-y? I imagine that's possible.)

So, that was my post. There was a meltdown, and oven mitt and a yoga ball and that's the best I can do. :) I'll do my best to be better at keeping y'all posted, k? And when Miss Lady Ma'am (another Lady and the Tramp reference, if you're keeping track from previous posts!) makes her grand entrance, we'll be sure to let y'all know about it!

Love, contractions and "la-la-loo",
Raechel :)

14 comments:

Amy Lynn said...

I had a patient when I was in OB rotations for nursing school who said "the business of being born" is AMAZING. She used a birthing ball and a doula, and had the most amazing pregnancy/birthing experience I have ever heard of in my life. I hope yours is just as wonderful :)

Chatty Cricket said...

um, that oven mitt? is AMAZING. PLEASE SELL THEM IN YOUR SHOP! I will need to use one when I am taking all of the food I will be feeding this baby (whose clothes will be protected by one of your bibs) out of the oven.

;)

I can't imagine how happy/sad this time must be for you. Missing Evie but anticipating Hazel. I am praying for a wonderful labor experience for you and peace in the coming weeks.

(I actually REALLY look forward to labor- yes it hurts, but I agree about the rush and the anticipation of meeting your baby!)

monstersaurus19 said...

I've known you were alright despite your blogging absence thanks to your tweets. :)

I pray the remainder of your pregnancy is w/o issue, and that precious Hazel joins us on a bella notte!

stephanie joy said...

you are real and genuine and i truly enjoy reading your post. with that being said, i only started reading your blog a couple months ago. i have been reading from the beginning slowly, when i have time, and it is so funny how you feel like you really get to know someone while reading their blog. anyhow, just had to post to say i share your feelings about labour. i am also a fellow DONA certified birth doula and i love everything birth and labour related. it is so amazing to me... so inspiring and i feel so blessed to be able to experience labour not only from my perspective (i have 3 children) but also being able to witness life being born as a birth doula. i know you share the same heart for dona as well. so... in a roundabout way i was just saying that no, you are not weird for looking forward to labour. it is an exciting, rewarding and empowering time in the life of a woman. bless you as you prepare for this new miraculous life! i will keep reading through it all!

take care!!

steph

nault's nook said...

Oh sweet friend I can only imagine your anticipation during this time! Dont worry about us at all ;)
I know more than ever you feel the gap that is for sweet Evie, and I pray that God will continue to give His peace. She will always be a part of your beautiful family and sweet Hazel is blessed by such an amazing family!!
I also look forward to birth. I love the excitment as that new babe enters the world!
((HUGS)) sweetie and I cant wait to "meet" little Hazel!

Chelsa said...

i too find myself thinking about being a family of 5, instead of just 4... well, i mean we are families of 5, just not hear on earth... it makes me a little sad to sign thank you notes i've been writing "love, ryan, chelsa, brycen, and corbin" instead of "love, ryan, chelsa, brycen, andon, and corbin".... glad to know i'm not the only one having these feelings. glad to hear you have progress, that is always encouraging! love the oven mitt! good luck on getting your brain back- i'm still working on that 2 weeks after giving birth ;)

sending you happy thoughts and pushing power ;)

Tracy said...

you know, Isaac was born at 37 weeks 4 days. ;)

Much love!

keight dukes said...

i was wondering if you had whipped out the old yearbook photo black backdrop for the overn mitt's official portrait...too funny! also, "the business of being born" is to pregnant childbearers what "rocky" is to athletes right before a big game. totally pump up!

Erin said...

I am glad I follow you on twitter or I would have started to worry. I hope she comes sooner the 41 weeks just so you dont go insane. Love the oven mit and everything else you do as always.

Christine said...

BUT. Are you going to smoke pot? (Isn't that what they do in Spiritual Midwifery, on the Farm? Am I remembering the details? Mainly I remember the pot or acid or whatever it was.) Personally, I'm for nearly anything that will get you through it. I won't judge.

Much love to you and your burgeoning self! You know Evie is rejoicing with you in heaven.

Claudia said...

Your sewing is making me wish more and more that I had paid more attention in my home economics class. You have made some amazing things, and that oven mitt is one of them! I really believe you ought to sell them on etsy! I know they would be a big hit! *Hint, hint* Yes, I would definitely buy one!

Lindsayb-mo said...

HOw exciting! I can't wait to hear the news of Miss Hazel's birth. Sending prayers your way for a happy, healthy and safe delivery! =)

Jill said...

Oh my goodness! Precious pics!

Sandy Naidu said...

Love the pictures - beautiful...