04 March 2009

The Sort of House Rules You Have to Establish
When You Are Living With A Savage Two-Year-Old:

  1. Don't chew on the kitchen cabinets.
  2. Don’t write on Scout’s face with markers.
  3. Don’t shove your pencils down the register.
  4. Don’t shove your pencils through the window screens.
  5. Don’t let Scout eat food out of your mouth.
  6. Don’t shove things (i.e. Mom's driver's license) into the computer disc drive.
  7. Don’t bite Dad's new leather chair.
  8. Don’t eat things you find in the garbage can.
  9. Don’t use markers (or pen) on the computer screen.
  10. Don’t greet our young guest by hitting them in the face when they come into our home.
  11. Don’t push anyone down the stairs.
  12. Don’t throw plates down the stairs.
  13. Don’t dip your toothbrush in potty in the potty chair and proceed to teach your younger cousin how to brush her teeth.
  14. Don’t swirl Daddy’s toothbrush in the toilet.
  15. Don’t pick your nose, wipe it on Daddy’s shirt, and not mention it to him until after he’s out of a social situation.
Yes, we're very rigid at our house, full of rules and restrictions! In spite of all these rules, though, we always manage to have a rip-roaring time.


What sort of rules have you had to establish since you've added savages sweet bundles of joy to your home?

11 comments:

Susan Graham said...

Don't pull a "clean" sweater out of the drawer and wear it to an interview without checking it for baby spit first.

Susan said...

Be careful what you leave in the bathroom waste basket, because it could resurface at the most inoportune time.

Christine said...

HA!

Don't climb on the kitchen table.

Don't climb on your baby sister.

Don't climb on the cat.

Are we sensing a theme?

Tracy said...

lol

no "potty talk" at dinner

no coloring on the walls

no screaming

no hair pulling

we have the no pushing down the stairs rule, too.

no dumping water onto the floor

no peeing my leg


I remember when A was a baby, we once said to O (17mths at the time) "Don't fold up your brother". He was in a bouncy seat and she kept folding him up in it.

Tracy said...

lol

no "potty talk" at dinner

no coloring on the walls

no screaming

no hair pulling

we have the no pushing down the stairs rule, too.

no dumping water onto the floor

no peeing my leg


I remember when A was a baby, we once said to O (17mths at the time) "Don't fold up your brother". He was in a bouncy seat and she kept folding him up in it.

Katy said...

Don't play kung fu on the trampoline and kick your big sisters front tooth out!.. oh wait, that already happened.. :)
they do get through it i promise.. 7 years into it, you do get to the light at the end of the tunnel. :)

4cunninghams said...

No biting your sister.

No pinching your brother.

don't touch the dirty diapers.

No climbing your dresser, bookshelf or Elijah's bed.

No jumping on daddy's groin area.

No pulling on Barrett's (the dog) jowels.

No drinking water from Barrett's dish.

MELISSA said...

Just wanted to say hello and let you know I am enjoying your blog! I just found it through Christine's who I found through MckMama's...

This post is too funny! We have some very similar rules here LOL.
Melissa

Christine said...

I am DYING at Rachel's "no jumping on Daddy's groin area" rule. HA!

Today I made a new one, by the way: No picking up dog poop from the back yard. Or really dog poop anywhere. It's off-limits.

Karen said...

RSVP when someone sends an invitation!

That skirt may be a little short.

When you come over, would you mind turning off the TV and lights when you go to bed?

Put the seat down!

How can you watch that?

Oh - was this just for preschoolers?

wendy said...

We have a few:
*Don't lick grocery carts (to 5yods)
*Don't lick door handles of stores
(again,5yods)
**Don't run through the house with a blanket over your face (same 5yo)
*Don't eat off the floor of a store (you guessed it, same 5yo)
*Don't burp and tell us what it tasted like (Ah, the joys of 10 and 5yo boys!!)--esp. at the table!

We have lots of fun, can you tell?