12 January 2009

Good morning, folks! And, welcome to another installment of "Not Me! Monday".

This is the time of the week (actually, every-other week) that I bare my soul and confess all those shameful and ridiculous things I've done, corners I've cut, and bald spots my husband has inflicted on himself. Brought to us first by Mck Mamma, here is my version of this week's:

Alright, let's get this party started!

For starters, I want you all to know that I definitely do not still have a favorite pair of super comfy, totally cute maternity jeans. Though I haven't had a legitimate reason to wear them for the past 9 months, I definitely have not continued to wear them on a regular rotation with my other jeans.

Furthermore, I do not consider them my "travel jeans" and have only recently retired them when Ryan informed me that I'm not fooling anyone, folks can still occasionally see the stretchy (comfy!) band at the top of my jeans that have a fake zipper and button. (In my defense, they are seriously the cutest pair of jeans - maternity or not! - that I have ever owned!) My dear husband and I have not established a new house rule that I can't wear them again until I am actually pregnant. (This, folks, is all the motivation I need! Let's turn a stick pink so I can have my favorite jeans back!)

Confession is good for the soul. I feel better already!

The other day, all dressed and ready to go out of the house, I did not stop to help Ryan get Oliver ready for a bath. This did not include taking off his (Oliver's) dirty diaper, finding some wipes, and cleaning him up a bit before depositing him into the water. As I squatted down next to Oliver to "tidy him up", I did not realize too late that my beautiful white scarf landed over the wipe in my hand, camouflaging itself just in time to take the brunt of the cleaning job. No folks, I did not wipe Oliver with my gorgeous white scarf that I was wearing around my neck. Not me, that would be disgusting!

Speaking of baths, I have not recently developed a bit of a habit of letting Oliver take long baths in the late morning so that I can be productive without worrying about what he might be getting into. I have not taken advantage of the fact that there is a big bathtub smack in the middle of the downstairs, allowing me to hear Oliver playing where ever I am. This has not resulted in baths lasting up to 1.5 hours and feet so pruned that they are peeling away. Even if he has a great time doing it, I would never let him soak for that long!

In other news, we did not completely run out of dog food for Scout last week. And, because we couldn't make it to the store right away for more food, I did not have the bright idea to tide her over with Nutri-Grain bars for an entire day. Not me!

And speaking of Scout, perhaps on account of the Nutri-Grain negligence, she did not consume 5 dozen cookies that I'd taken no less than 3 hours to prepare and package neatly into tupperware containers last week. And, the cookies that she could not eat because she was such a piggy and was too full to complete her crime? She did not attempt to bury them in the corners of our two downstairs armchairs and another chair upstairs to save for later. We would not put up with a dog who behaves like that!

I do really enjoy MckMamma's blog and all the pretty pictures she takes and all the neat things she has to day. However, I am not so involved in the life of this complete stranger that I would spend a great portion of my day last Thursday chained to my laptop, constantly refreshing the screen to see how close I could come to being the 3,000,000th hit on her blog. Not me!

Amazingly enough, she was not experiencing such high traffic that in the time it took me to refresh my browser, I did not jump from 2,999,878 to 3,000,163. That's 285 hits in a matter of seconds, people! While I'm confessing, I may as well tell you that as the 3 millionth hit drew near, I did not frantically send my husband to the upstairs computer to refresh his screen too, in order to double my chances of being "the one". What a good sport!

Exhibits A & B:

And finally, Ryan and I are not dorks and we did not host a Golden Globe Award party at our house last night. And, we do not feel rejected because, of the 4 couples we invited to join us, only my sister and brother-in-law were available to come. And lastly, the four of us did not consume nearly all of the three medium pizzas we ordered over the course of the evening.

Alright, I'm all confessed-out! What have you all not done this week that we should know about?


Wayne said...

great not me monday I have a pair of traveling pants and every time I fly I wear them

Anonymous said...

Your preggo pants are crackin' me up!

pam said...

I loved your NMM, you are very funny. I love the pant story, who cares, just wear them.

Happy Monday

LucieP said...

I thought the Golden Globes were great! And my man actually did not make a fuss over us watching it for once...
I do not also have a certain pair or two of maternity jeans that get cycled in...and I do even know if D has noticed nor will I be asking him...I just love them...they look great, feel great, and remind me of great times!

Julie said...

My tradition is to eat pizza while watching the red carpet! Apparently I missed it this year, b/c Playhouse Disney doesn't advertise for it. LOL! I seriously need to get better at checking news online.

Bev said...

Hilarious, Raechel!! You brightened my day!! Love you!!!

Tracy said...

wear those jeans! what use do they have in your closet? (oh, this is coming from a person who definitely does NOT have a maternity shirt in her rotation, just because its too cute to be packed away...)

Christine said...

I am cracking up over your Golden Globe rejection. Believe me, my sister and brother-in-law are the only ones who show up to anything at our house, it seems. :) I think both couples need to lead more exciting lives, no? Or maybe we scare everyone else off with our kid quota.

And the MckMama story is priceless. You'll laugh to know that I was wondering what kind of people would do that...until I read your blog and switched my worldview to, "Oh, that's totally normal. Rae does it."

Way to rock my world.

Keyona said...

Wow, that was funny in so many ways. So funny.

Nathan said...

For you and Ryan:
Georgia and I did NOT decide to keep our glass Oberweis milk jug instead of returning it for the $.85 deposit just because it looks cool. http://www.oberweis.com/web/milk.asp

Raechel said...

I'm with you, Nathan! Totally worth the $.85!