23 January 2011

Today is an important day.

It's an important day to many people because it is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, but it carries special meaning for our family because it is also the third anniversary of the day our lives changed forever.

We know that God creates each of our children with a purpose. And we know that that purpose is to bring Him glory and to enjoy Him forever. Three years ago today (I cannot believe it's been three years already!) we arrived at our ultrasound appointment, 20 weeks pregnant and hoping to catch a glimpse of our sweet baby. But we got more than that. Our sovereign God gave us the first small glimpse of what he was going to do in our lives - of how he was working out His plan in our daughter's life, and in her death.


We learned that the baby I carried in my womb was not going to be what we expected. We learned that God had lovingly made her heart with only two chambers. She only needed two chambers to do what he made her to do. We learned that her life would be short. We learned to love hard and fast and like every day was a gift.

A year after Evie's diagnosis I shared the video footage of the ultrasound from that day. On that first anniversary we chose not to focus on death, but on the precious life that was still somersaulting inside of me just one year ago. I love to watch that video and remember her alive and kicking - she was a feisty one!

What a lovely day to observe, as a nation, the Sanctity of Human Life, and to give thanks to the One Who shapes each of us as He sees fit to carry out His perfect will.

Thanks be to God for the life that he gives!

In an effort to observe this day and what it stands for, I would love for you all to share your little lives-to-be-celebrated here with me. If you or someone you love has lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion or infant loss, I want to invite you to name that child here (write anonymously if you'd like). They are a part of the Plan, and their lives - however brief they may have been - give glory to our Maker.

They LIVED, friends! And because of the hope of the cross, we can one day worship our Creator alongside these little ones that we love and miss.


The Guerra's said...

I had a misscarriage almost two years ago but I just gave birth to the sweetest baby! We were so sad to loose a baby that we wanted so much and then after trying for a year we were blessed with another belssing. Your sweet Evie is so precious!

{Thirty} Little Piggies said...

Bless your family. Evie is a part of the greatest story woven from the beginning of time by the Author of humanity. What a precious girl!

We lost a baby to miscarriage at 11 weeks along in 2009. We also lost our little girl's twin very early in the pregnancy, also in 2009. We know those children dance with our Maker and we are so grateful to dance here on earth with our three sweet ones entrusted to our care.

Praise be to God for His goodness in all things!

Cecilia said...

Our son, Ethan, was born still on April 28, 2009. I'm so glad we can grieve with the hope of seeing him again!

babysteps 2 where we want 2 be said...

thank you for sharing this... i had forgotten that today is Sanctity of Human Life Day.

your family are in my prayers as you remember Evie today and always.

thank you for your amazing words of encouragement, they have fallen on my heart today. to remember that in life and in death He is the One who shapes each of us as He sees fit to carry out His perfect will.

Skylar Hope 12/4/06
Noah Journey 2/1/08
Natalina Grace 5/25/08
Jebediah Willow 7/18/10

i do have two living little boys ages 3 and 20 months and i am 12 weeks pregnant, however, my best friend was due 2 days after me and she just lost her precious baby yesterday. my heart is torn to pieces for her. please keep her in your prayers as she grieves and goes through the miscarriage process at this very moment!

Abby said...

Thinking of you on this day, Raechel, and all other mothers and families who've had to endure what you had to. You handle this with such grace and wisdom. God bless.

mrsking14 said...

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Amy said...

We lost our sweet baby Autumn on Thanksgiving day 2007 three months into the pregnancy. That day changed my life forever. I was bitter and angry at God for a long time because of taking away the special gift. Autumn was conceived naturally, while our other pregnancies were assisted with fertility drugs. I now have 4 children. Evelyn who is 5, Autumn who lives with Jesus, Jackson and Madelyn (twins born in April 2010). We stay busy but are totally blessed by our 3 living children and the lessons we have learned from all 4!

Our Family said...

Throughly blessed to be the mother of my Joshua born still July 28,2009. He is so loved and missed but I have firm belief that he is following his plan and I am following mine. I have 3 beautiful children at home and hopefully will be adding a little boy this April. WE have learned so much from our loss and the stress of pregnancy after loss.

Chelsa said...

Precious Evie...

Remembering my sweet Andon today... still born on February 3, 2009. I can't believe it's been almost two years...

Praising God for bringing us Corbin Fisher almost exactly a year later (2-11-10).

With the sadness that A's birthday brings (but also the hope) C's birthday will bring us joy (probably some tears b/c I can't believe my baby will be one already) and a reminder of how good God is!

Heidi said...

Thanks for giving us a chance to celebrate our babies with you!

I lost a baby on Mother's Day last year. We were at the beginning of the second trimester and were "in the clear" according to all accounts. It was a girl - a daughter - and we named her Mara Shirin, which means bittersweet. <3

Marisa said...

Love her precious profile, Rae. Just lovely.

Thankful for His plan for us...to prosper us and not harm us, to give us HOPE and a future.

Missing our babes with a tender heart this morning as I think about the sacredness of their lives. Our sweet little one we lost through miscarriage in June of 2006 and our precious Maggie girl, who left this world for Paradise at 31 weeks, born still (but STILL born) April 9, 2009.

Hold on, sweet mamas, for there is HOPE of a sweet reunion with our babes in the glory of Heaven.

Thoughts, love and prayers today, Miss Rae.


Our Typical Life said...

I recently wrote about my miscarriage in 2007. We named him, even though we didn't know if it was a boy or girl, I was only 6wks 5days.


Thank you for posting your story.

Anonymous said...

my best friend lost her precious baby girl unexpectedly on easter sunday at 38 weeks of pregnancy. on april 5, kylie morgan came into this world sleeping. she was the most beautiful baby, absolutely perfect. as my sweet friends are now embarking on the journey of adoption , i cannot wait to see the rest of their story.

Debra Joy @ jubilee life said...

Thank you for posting this. God is unparalleled in His masterful ability to bring Life out of death. I just experienced the loss of my baby, for whom He had given me the name Jubilee Ruth. He had told me she would be a symbol of his redemption and ability to bring life out of death. And truly, like you said, she has fulfilled exactly the purpose that he created her for. I've experienced more life out of her death than should be possible. I've been writing about Jubilee's story on my blog:

Thank you for sharing so honestly about your experience with Evie. It has really helped me in my own grieving process.


Anonymous said...

I have lost more than one child to abortion. I struggle even today with my feelings on those chaotic years, because grief does not come - just shame - but I think of those children, ultrasounds unseen and lives believed inconvenient, often.

I cannot imagine myself the parent of a five-year old, or a three-year old, but sometimes - when no one is looking - I like to try.

Julie said...

One of my friends lost a child, Audrey Kate, but they were able to have her for 2 sweet and short years. Her Mom has much the same outlook as you on her daughter's life. Even that young she left a wonderful testament. Good to see someone being positive in such a difficult time. Sending prayers your way!


Seagers said...

I lost a baby early on. The baby would have been our second child. The due date was March 12. I love how you called this The Plan. God knew that baby before time began, and chose it to be ours. I love how when we surrender our lives to Him, He is in control. There is no other way to have peace in this world. Thanks for allowing us to have a place to acknowledge our Creator, and our little ones who are now with him.

Southern CA

Susan Graham said...

I don't know how many we have lost but I celebrate the two God allowed us to keep. They are miracles and I watch them in wonder just because they are breathing.

Julie said...

Thank you for posting this today.

On this day I remember my precious T.J. whom I miscarried in August 2005 at just over 12 weeks. Wow, I can't believe it's been that long...

stephanie joy said...

this is such a topic that is near to my heart. i lost a baby through miscarriage at 12.5 weeks on feburary 3, 2003. i can't believe it's almost been 8 years! wow! we've been blessed with 3 little darling girls since then but that first baby that we lost will never be forgotten. that loss has shaped who i am today. and yes, i praise the Lord for even those few weeks i had of naive pregnancy bliss. that baby (who i lovingly refer to as my august baby -- for it was due in august of '03) is forever in the arms of Jesus.

we also have just made some recent friends and have found out their heartbreaking story of loss. they lost a baby, in somewhat of a similar situation to you, raechel, in 2005. they found out at their 20 week u/s as well. they carried her to about 36 weeks, and she lived for 6 days and then died. we praise God for sarah's life, as short as it was. and now she's dancing with all these other sweet babies in heaven. never to know of the pain here on earth.

thanks for this post!! much appreciated!

Jen said...

We had 14 hours with our beautiful baby girl, Madelyn Rose. I wouldn't trade those 14 hours for anything and I miss her so much. She would be 4 1/2 now and would be going to kindergarten in the fall. It's so hard to imagine what she would look like and what her personality would be. I really miss not being able to get to know her.

We do have 2 little boys now who keep me very busy. B is 2 1/2 and adopted from South Korea and R was born March 8th and will be 1 sooner than I am ready for!

Thank you for your post.


Anonymous said...

I love reading your posts! you are very creative at raising your children in a Godly manner! I love it!!
i had a little girl named Molly with anacephaly and she lived 40 minutes. she would be 9 years old. but like you say they make a difference the time they are here. I had nurses coming into my room and saying there was something different. told them it was Jesus. i am blessed with 3 wonderful boys who keep me busy they are 14, 13, and 8.

Sally said...

On January 27th 2000, our Jake was given back to God according to God's plan. He lives as an angel with a perfect soul. I know my little man whispered in God's ear that his mommy's heart needed healing and He sent me my Davis...and then Jake was busy again with his whispers and his mommy's heart was made whole by the birth of Matthew.

There isn't a day that goes by that my Jake isn't remembered. Although the time I carried him was filled with sadness, our joy has come with the morning and we will wait for the time when we can hold him again...in God's time.

Katie Kermeen Swisher said...

We tried for 4 years to get pregnant, never had any luck. Finally in 2009 we discovered we were pregnant, only to lose that baby in miscarriage at 11 weeks. We got pregnant again in February of 2010, only to lose that one at 8 weeks. Again we discovered we were pregnant in November of 2010, and just lost that one yesterday. I often wonder what God's plan could possibly be for us and our family and for these little lives that never got to be. The physical pain of these miscarriages are nothing compared to the emotional pain that has wreaked havoc on our lives. Although we don't understand His plan, we do find peace in God and his continued sovereignty over our lives. If nothing else, these losses have brought us closer together and closer to our creator...

Anonymous said...

After a mostly healthy pregnancy that resulted in my nephew, who is now 7 years old and full of life, my sister-in-law has sent 8 angels to heaven. She has suffered both single and twin miscarriages and has recently found out that her son was a true miracle. Through several years of unsuccessful IVF's, a plethora of problems were discovered in both my brother-in-law and her, that together give about a 1% chance of a healthy baby. My nephew is a true miracle and my heart aches for her and the nieces or nephews I never got to meet.

Emily said...

Praising God today for all His children, here with us on this earth or with our sweet Jesus in heaven.

I know my brother or sister who would be 23 now, is walking beside Jesus and that I will meet him or her on that glorious day!

Thank you for this post today and reminding us to remember.

Anonymous said...

A dear friend lost her baby Savannah Grace last fall... she lived about 20 minutes. Life is so precious!

Aimee said...

Long time follower...

My little one Sophie Ann, went home after 9 minutes. (trisomy 13) I carried her for 18 weeks knowing every day her days were numbered. We do serve a Sovereign God. This was His plan before the foundation of the world.


aimee weathers

Aimee said...



Jessi said...

I have two siblings, Jordan and Jonathan, that are loved and missed and happy in heaven.
And my sweet Kayla Marie Hope. My family were missionaries in Nigeria when I was a teenager and when a tiny little baby girl showed up in the orphanage we worked with, my sister and I took her home so we could give her the dedicated care she needed as a preemie. She died in my arms at 3 and half weeks as I sang her into heaven. She would be 11yrs old this month...I still remember her smell, the feel of her tiny body in my arms and I miss her but know she is whole and well in heaven.
Thanks for sharing your Evie with us and giving us the chance to share our stories.

Tracy said...

Her little body is so sweet, Rae.

You know us, and our family story. 6 beautiful babies in heaven waiting for us. We miss them daily, and can't wait to meet them some day!

Melanie said...

Precious Evie! Thank you for a place to share, grieve and rejoice together. Our Ruby Anne would have just turned 4 (born at 24 wks in 2006) January also reminds me of my older sibling (i always think sister but they didn't know) who would have been my parents' first child, but if she had been born, I would not have (well, according to science). Her short life gave my parents a stronger appreciation for my life (and brothers who came after me) and for that I'm grateful. Thank you for reminding us of The Plan!

Monica said...

I found your blog after our son passed away in March of 2009. Evan had trisomy 13. Your blog has been a source of encouragement for me.

Evan's little sister, Carolina Faith, was born a few days before Hazel!

Nicole said...

Precious Evie! I know that I can not understand your pain but I so empathize with you!
Our son Will, passed away March 28, 2009, my birthday and his as well. He left the biggest little foot print on our hearts!
God be with you!

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog for almost 2 years, and I thank you for sharing your heart, your talents, and your beautiful babies. Today I remember my older sister who was born and died at 9 days old in 1960, and the other siblings that came before me. My mother carried her grief with her until her death. She had no where to turn for support, and so she was never able to fully share with us the miracle of those short lives. I just wish she would have been able to share her story of her pregnancy and those 9 days with me, as a little girl there was a part of me that longed to hear about my big sister. Again, thank you for sharing your story to help those who are affected by the loss of a child/children.

MomentsRemembered said...

I lost what would have been my first child early in my pregnancy this time of year in 2007. I often think about and grieve for my baby, but I do so very privately. Your blog helps me know I am not alone. Thank you!

Rachel said...

Three miscarriages have almost destroyed me. I say almost because even though I have yet to see the beauty that will come from these ashes, I am still HERE, and that has to count for something.

Our little Lost Loves:
December 29, 2004
May 28, 2009
September 28, 2009

Our Crazy Filled Life said...

My first pregnancy ended up being ectopic in November 2006, we found out just before Thanksgiving. And it's definitely made me thankful for the two beautiful sons that I have been blessed with. Going through the painful loss has made me appreciate so much in my life. Especially my husband who was so helpful and supportive. And now as I watch my cousin struggle with conceiving, it makes me all the more thankful that I have two precious children and hope to be blessed with more. :)

Anonymous said...

Caitlyn Nicole Elaine-
12/29/1998-1/7/1999 never forgotten.

Sara said...

My Samuel Lee went to be with Jesus after just 5 days with us. Not a day goes by that I don't think of his sweet face.

Samuel Lee 11/19/07-11/24/07

Kristi said...

I know this is an old entry but I'm so glad I came across your blog. I actually came to sign up for your giveaway today. And got sucked in. And never did enter before the deadline had passed. Too. Much. Eye candy!

I love seeing how Hazel just fits into His plan for your lives. I too am just over three years past a totally unexpected 2nd trimester loss and two years past another 2nd trimester loss. We were ultimately blessed with our rainbow baby girl who will be 11 months old tomorrow. There are so many times when it's easy to get sucked back in but the beauty that He created in both our lives in undeniable.
Thank you for sharing!